I wanted to add theres different levels of abuse and sometimes the long term most dangerous are the ones some of us start asying "Oh its not that bad, Im not punched, ect.) Because many times sadly it is the subtle abused, a push or shove here and there, taht end up missing and dead and noone had a clue. Some of us get so attracted to the sorries after that we forget, deny and block the horrible.
In the experiences Ive encountered its usually anger from within, the same things that spur the pain for the drug abuse in the first place.
For me th e excuse I always gave was I was abusive too, and sadly I was just as bad, Anger and abuse too can come a family disease. Watch the kids that have seen things and how they act, the start acting out, yelling and shoving the same way.