I'm the A in the relationship and I can't imagine physically hurting anyone but I know it happens. My A father emotionally abused my by virtually ignoring me for years. I'm married to a man who does exactly that, he just doesn't use.
For me, I'll go when I can. I am still finishing an outpatient rehab and I need to put my sobriety first.
Luckily I have some awesome support through my rehab. I know he is also waiting for the ball to drop because this is my second time around but my first time in rehab. I have to believe that as I build the bridges he will cross them.
I hope you find the peace you need.