I really wish I could remember off the top of my head the names of some very important books, but please see a DV counselor.
Addiction and abuse are two separate issues, that is the biggest mistake I made...I didn't recognize that. The real truth is abusive men are almost NEVER rehabilated from the topmost expert in the field working with them.
I was never told by my DV counselor to leave or stay. But when I became educated and....almost strangled to death. I had to get out.
And frankly, it is common to still love them. I still love mine....and read the thread Denny has about the death of her xhusband. She never stopped loving him.
See, I thought that was required. It isn't.
Abuse escalates and you may think you have some control, but you don't.
BTW...don't ask me what all abuse I put up with, the humiliations and how many times I went back for more. It's scary. I just had to make amends with myself about it.
live