Originally Posted by
mallowcup 
Just for the record, I was educated. Dogs are trained.
LOL okay.....apologies, but it was not meant to be a derogatory term.
Many people come to a book like co-dependent no more with a mountain of guilt, believing in their core that "if only.....(I loved them more, better, explained it the right way, could make them see, was a better wife/parent/child, had more sex with them, was more fun, kept the house better, earned more money, was more patient, was less outgoing, was more outgoing.....add in your own) they [i.e. someone else] wouldn't be behaving in this way".
I believe this is what she is trying to address. None of that matters in so far as it will make no difference to whether an addicted person is an addicted person, nor is their addiction the fault of anyone around them, and that making yourself sick or crazy isn't going to help them one bit, and that living your life around them isn't going to help them either. That and the fact that no matter how crazy it may seem to anyone else, everyone else even, the only person who can decide what makes them happy, is the person themselves.
She goes on later down the page to say that she is not advocating stopping loving or caring or hoping or treating people with basic human dignity or respect. She also is not advocating discounting positive problem-solving techniques like interventions by trained (her words LOL) professionals.