I get it, Oneeye... been there, done that... had to make some amends.
The little gal who got my daughter started on meth, then became her dealer showed up at the hospital when little guy was born. She was about 6 months clean herself, but still struggling with cravings and such.
You know what? She is a very intelligent, charismatic young woman. The kind I've often been drawn to. Yet, I wished her death... an ugly, painful one, many times over.
And I wonder how many moms of my daughter's friends thought the same about my daughter.
When we know better, we do better.
((((Oneeyeopen)))) Sounds like you have both eyes wide open.... and your heart, as well.
(((hugs)))