Teke, you're not crazy, you are just living in an insane situation as most of us have in some way.
Yesterday is over, you can't change one moment of it, but you have today and all your tomorrows to live a better way if you choose.
It may not be easy, life often is not, but staying isn't easy either. Please start today and find a better life for you and your children.
And just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Hugs