nanita

Well, today is day 13 for me and I went to AA in Laramie yesterday. It was only my 3rd meeting in as many weeks, but it was a turning point for me. It was the largest meeting I've been to yet, although it was still only about 20 people. Lots of new faces (not new people, just new faces to me). The lady that sat next to me has been sober for six years. She just returned from a trip to Europe where she and her husband cycled 500 miles across Germany, Hungary, Slovakia and a bunch of other places. She said she never rode in the van once! She was the only non-drinker in a group of 26 people. When she couldn't handle everyone drinking, she just went to her room. She told me she had had a DUI, got in trouble at work, embarrased her family by being falling down drunk, and even put gatorade in her whiskey (no, not whiskey in her gatorade) because she was convinced that made drinking healthy! She must be in her late 50's or so and I'd sure like to be as physically fit as she is. Talk about incentive!

However, the most exciting part of the meeting for me was the girl who chaired the meeting. I'm guessing she's younger than my youngest daughter and I was so impressed with her. She's maybe 25, maybe not even that old. After the meeting, she asked if I had a sponsor and gave me her phone number. Lots of people have given me their numbers (and I have a phone list) but she's the first to mention sponsorship, probably because I don't live there and can't attend often. I actually found it hard to ask, in case I misunderstood, but when I asked her if she was offering to be my sponsor, and she said yes, I was on Cloud 9. Me - the person who never wanted to go to AA, is an agnostic, and am so sure I can do this by myself ----I haven't been that excited in forever. I thought about it all the way home and all evening. I can hardly wait to do this!!! There's something about having someone to relate to, one-on-one, that can get to know you, rather than just calling someone that doesn't have much background on you, etc., to talk to and confide in and be accountable to, blah, blah, blah, that is exciting to me. It feels like having a new friend.

I asked her if it was a problem for her that I could only attend a meeting every week or two and she said it was no problem at all. She also said that if I was in Laramie at a time that there wasn't a meeting, to call and we'd go out for coffee. I plan to call her today and get started on whatever it is one does with a sponsor.

This has happened at a good time for me. My oldest daughter, an alcoholic and crack and meth addict, is in jail. She's the mother of my 21 month old grandson,Jeremiah,whom I have custody of. Get this! She was pulled over for not wearing her seatbelt and subsequently arrested for an outstanding warrant for "failure to appear" in court in May 2006. Her court appearance was for taking Jeremiah away from her, so she fled the state with him instead of going to court. Oh, well. The new State took him away anyway and here we are in this mess today! She's been in jail for three days now with no bond. I think she finally goes before the Judge today and I don't know what's going to happen. I suppose that for now, it's a good place for her to be. When I saw her a week or so ago, she was obviously using meth. Her face is covered with open sores, she's shaking so bad I'm sure she's going through withdrawals between fixes and she's just a mess! I'm actually not terribly upset over the whole thing because we've been doing this since she was 15. I'm so used to it, that I just shake my head and realize it's outside of my control. But - it still makes me want to drink so I'm glad to have someone I can talk to and work through the whole thing.

So - here I am, going from the AA hater to being thrilled to be a part of it. This is the last thing I EVER thought I'd be saying here or anywhere.