Ted I wish there was some magical thing I could say or do to where you could understand, but I have yet to meet a single alcoholic who knew a single non-alcoholic who understood how we think entirely, whether we are actively in our disease or have been sober for 10 years.
I can tell you this, if you want to help your brother the best thing you can do for him is nothing, if he needs to get bailed out of jail, leave him. If he needs money for any reason do not give/loan it to him. If he needs food do not give him any. If he needs anything do not give it to him unless it is a ride to a rehab.
If he has been drinking refuse to talk to him until he is sober.
I kept drinking right up until the point I knew I was going to have to face every facet of life alone, no one helping me do anything! That is when I finally sat down and fast forwarded my future, what I saw was really quick all utilities being cut off because I didn't pay bills, all I did was have my paycheck electronically deposited, my wife took care of all that.
I saw myself passing out on the sofa because my wife was not getting me up to go to bed to where my alarm clock would wake me up to go to work, resulting in me be late to work all the time and me getting fired. From there it would be no time before I owned nothing and had no where to live, all I was left with would be drinking until I died!