Highly Confused~
I understand the pain you are in and the dilemma...but you need to know that you can not cure her no matter how hard you want to. It needs to come within. I think that perhaps for a man, it might be harder to go to a meeting for the first time and say out loud what you are feeling and I certainly understand that. Please keep coming back here and hopefully you will begin to feel comfortable enough to go to a meeting. Meetings really help you to see that there are thousands of others dealing with similar situations. Take care of you...for your sanity and your sons! Please, do yourself one other favor...stop looking for her pills/stash/whatever....she'll find new spots and it'll only drive you crazier!!! If you can, Melody Beattie writes some great books on Co-dependancy ...start reading those. I KNEW I wasn't an enabler and that it was HIS problem, until I read the books and really opened my eyes and saw how I contributed to the problems in my household! You can't control her, but you can control you. You can't change her, but you can change you...and no, it's not easy. Take it day by day...even hour by hour....
Keep coming back..people here care!
sped teach