Highly Confused -
If your kids are having to live with someone else, they are part of this. You have sent them away to protect them and no one can blame you for wanting to keep them safe. The hardest part of living with an addict is having to watch them detroy themselves and not letting them take you down with them. If you don't find a way to keep yourself sane, who will be there for your kids?
If you don't feel comfortable attending an Alanon meeting ( and they really are alot more comfortable than you can imagine) try doing some reading from the books listed at the top of this site. You might be amazed at the help available. You can only help yourself and your kids. Your wife has to decide to help herself. I will say a prayer for all of you. Keep coming back. We all care and all know how you feel.
Hugs, Jo