drainedwife

Hi..everyone...

I really need help getting myself out of self-pity mode...and also i project so much into the future. I am SOOO scared and worry SOO much about what is going to happen.

How can i stop this pattern?? I went to a meeting last night, and feel even worse than before because of the stories and it just seemed like a group of people who are not living in serenity...and least most of them...just being depressed.

I feel like I am never going to get out of this slump i am in..i am sooo worried about the money situation, and i just hate being married to someone i cant trust and who is doing something that totally disgusts me. I feel bad for myself not having any family to help me and having a dad that left me and didnt give my mom any $$$ for support....i cant turn to him for help an dhe may be the only one in m y family who may havae little bit of $$$ to help me financially.....i already even tried that route and he wouldnt give me a dime. He was too worried that he might need it should something happen to him...same old person he always was..very selfish....if i just had some family to lean on...to be here to support me...but i dont i have to just deal with that i guess and try to lean on my naranon friends....and other close friends.

I just feel very alone and almost paralized because i dont know what directin to go first....i am trying to wokr on a plan B..everything just seems so difficult...i dont know how to get myself strong to do this. And i cant help feeling sorry for myself..here i am going all over to meetings, therapists, etc...and my ah is sitting on the couch with his stupid laptop like nothing is wrong.

How can i be stronger...how can i get out of this depression and slump i am in???

thanks for listening