ebv, I don't mind you sharing what I wrote. One of the things we addicts in recovery strive for is to help other suffering addicts. If my words can help in any way, please feel free to use them.
Ted, I also have two brothers that are actively using. Neither willingly refers to themselves as addicts. Their addictions haven't taken them to the extremes my own did, and as long as they can remain functioning, they'll probably continue to use. I've exposed both to 12 step recovery and meetings and both see it as an unattractive and unneeded. In Narcotics Anonymous, we learn that we can only carry the message that recovery is possible to those who are willing to receive it. We also acknowledge that an addict that doesn't want to stop using will not stop using. They can be preached to, counseled, incarcerated, prayed over, beaten, analyzed, reasoned with and threatened...they will not stop until they are ready to. The best way to help a person seeking recovery is to be available for them when they become willing. The key is that they have to seek the help...not have it forced upon them.
I agree that there's almost unlimited information out there about addicts and addiction, but needs to be understood is that much of that information is misleading. Sadly, in these days, many treatment facilities, recovery programs and so-called chemical dependency professionals are in the business of making money and selling what they have to offer as bonafide. This could explain why much of the information conflicts with one another.
Although you're entitled to believe whatever you do, there are a few points you made that I'd like to add food for thought on:
1. Addicts use at any given time because they believe their experience while high is preferrable to the experience while not high. For some it is because they are normally depressed, agitated, sad, etc.. For others it is because they love the rush and excitement of the drug. For most, it is some combination. The reasons for use may change over time as their own brain chemistry changes, as well as their life circumstances.
There is a major difference between a user, an abuser and an addict. Users and abusers have choice and preference, addicts don't. Once one becomes addicted to a substance, using said substance isn't optional...it's required. An addict who is in active addiction needs no logic, reason or belief to use. The disease of addiction is made up of 3 components (or factors): obsession, compulsion & total self-centeredness. Obsession is the mental preoccupation, or "fixed idea" of getting and using. Some even refer to it as a mental disease. Compulsion is the inability to stop using once one has started. And total self-centeredness piece is lacking the ability to see anything other than what is desired. In NA, self-centeredness is referred to as the spiritual aspect because we lose the ability to feel (for ourselves or others).
2. Addicts will go to great lengths to protect and continue in their addiction because they strongly prefer using over not using.
Once again, it was my experience to not have a choice or preference by the time I became addicted. Many recovering addicts will testify that they continued to use while having an overwhelming "preference" to NOT use. What I stress here is that loss of control is uniformly common amongst addicts, and although we may have gone to great lengths to keep protected and facilitate our using, the reasoning generally isn't about choice or preference. We used to live and lived to use, and were totally unmanageable.
3. Many things contribute to deciding to stop using, and they differ for different people. These things are the same in principle to why people stop any behavior, but in general they boil down to this: Pain or less pleasure from the drug itself, pain or less pleasure from the consequences of using. Many things can contribute to this, including suddenly finding better alternatives.
I'm not sure how you're asserting that drugs cause pain. Withdrawal from drugs can cause pain, I understand that fully well. Receiving less pleasure only results in using a higher dosage or combining drugs to achieve a desired effect. I'm also unsure how consequences can provide pleasure of any kind, let alone "less pleasure." Acquiring a desire to stop using generally requires an addict to experience what is called a "bottom." This can differ from addict to addict and sometimes it can be something as simple as the loss of a job or relationship. The degree of sickness varies from addict to addict and often it runs parallel with their drug of choice or the extremes to which their addiction has taken them. Withdrawal for a crack addict or pothead isn't the same as for an alcoholic or heroin addict.
4. Craving is nothing more than the mind associating using with pleasure or relief from pain. Therefore, anything that changes one's thinking--whether that be a new environment certain drugs, new activities, new uses of the body (changes in sensations affects our thinking)--ie eating, sleep, exercise, etc.., or using techiques to think differently--affect the level of craving.
The same applies here: cravings depend on the addict and their drug of choice. So we're in agreement except about the environment part because cravings can go far beyond being solely a mental thing...they can have physical aspects as well.
How can I get my brother to open up more? Unfortunately, my brother would prefer to not discuss his drinking even though it seems to be the most important thing in his life. I think he has some guilt about it, and maybe some anger or resentment toward me since I've tried to talk him into quitting in the past.
My opinion is that you cannot get him to open up. If he wanted to discuss his addiction with you, he would. Your conclusions about why he doesn't may be on point, but on the other hand - he may just not be ready and nothing you can do can make him ready. I feel the best you can do is ensure that he knows that you love him and will be there for him when he decides to open up. He'll remember and appreciate it when the time comes.
tflms