I see the pain in my mothers (and father's) eyes. I try to justify my drinking to them and hope they put up with me, and they DO! But it makes them sad, and I WANT more than anything to be rid of this disease, but it's so hard!!!!!!!!! not into drugs, but I'm an alcoholic. Well actually I cant lie, I do smoke the occasional joint, but thats not really my bag. I love beer and the feeling it gives me, and I say F*** it, and keep going back. Doesnt matter who I hurt. I wish you werent going through this pain, and I'll say a prayer for you Son to WANT to quit what he is doing to himself and to you. It's all up to him though babe. Please g to a support group, it will help you understand the way we think. Hugs