Yes they can, but it takes time, I am over 8 months sober, actively working my program in AA, can I firmly say I saved our marriage? No! I am doing everything I can to make amends and make up for things I have done or not done.
I do not know if I waited to late and she is not sure either. We do not argue, she does get..... for lack of a better word jealous of my meetings, me meeting with my sponsor and my sponsee. Last night she actually said to me that I might be happier with some one in recovery then her. I let her know that there was nothing further from the proof.
Things are far better then they were while I was drinking, she knows I have to keep my recovery as the #1 thing in my life. I feel in time we will get back where we were years ago, because she also tells me how nice it is for the kids to have a father again and her not having to do everything around the house except yard work.
All I can do is try.