You came to the right place. I'm pretty new here myself. Have you started going to Al-Anon meetings? It really is the best place for you. Al-Anon has helped me take the focus off of the alcoholic in my life and back onto myself. That old saying "the only person you can change is yourself" is something I heard a million times over. I went to Al-Anon and really learned how to apply it and I feel as though I have been set free. No situation is hopeless, although when you're living it, it seems as though it will never end, but it will - I promise - in your HP's (higher power) time, not yours. That is a very difficult thing to grasp sometimes. We live our life trying to control everything going on around us to make sure everyone else is okay and the more we try to control something or someone, the more unmanageable our lives become. When we finally give the control back to our HP - beautiful things happen, things we never could have accomplished on our own.
You can find a meeting list on-line or call the AA or Al-Anon number in the phone book.
I really could ramble on and on about how much this program means to me. I have become a completely different person, the person I was always meant to be, the person under all the layers of guilt and resentment. I will keep you in my prayers and remember Al-Anon is for you, not your brother.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Hugs