desperatesis22

I am the sister of a 25 year old who has been an alcoholicc for 8 years. I just can't handle it anymore. I already had to live my entire life with my father being an alcoholic and when he left our house is was like a big weight ws lifted off of my chest, but now more and more I have to deal with my brother being drunk. I am a mother now and I just don't know what to do or say to him anymore. I need to find a rehab in New Jersey for him. Could you please help me?????????????????

notthistime

I am so sorry you have to go through this, but you have come to the right place.
I wish I had the magic potion for you, but there isn't one. An addict must decide on their own to get help. You can't do it for him, nor can you fix his problems.
Do you attend al-anon meetings? If not you might want to look into it. They are helping me cope with my AH as well as my A parents.
This board is also an excellent place to get advice, or to vent.., keep coming back.

Cyber hugs for you

desperatesis22

Thank you for your support, but I am not deciding for him, I just want to be able to give him som enames of rehabss so that way he can look into them. I know I'm not, but I feel obligated to him because he is my brother.

VictoriaC

You came to the right place. I'm pretty new here myself. Have you started going to Al-Anon meetings? It really is the best place for you. Al-Anon has helped me take the focus off of the alcoholic in my life and back onto myself. That old saying "the only person you can change is yourself" is something I heard a million times over. I went to Al-Anon and really learned how to apply it and I feel as though I have been set free. No situation is hopeless, although when you're living it, it seems as though it will never end, but it will - I promise - in your HP's (higher power) time, not yours. That is a very difficult thing to grasp sometimes. We live our life trying to control everything going on around us to make sure everyone else is okay and the more we try to control something or someone, the more unmanageable our lives become. When we finally give the control back to our HP - beautiful things happen, things we never could have accomplished on our own.

You can find a meeting list on-line or call the AA or Al-Anon number in the phone book.

I really could ramble on and on about how much this program means to me. I have become a completely different person, the person I was always meant to be, the person under all the layers of guilt and resentment. I will keep you in my prayers and remember Al-Anon is for you, not your brother.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Hugs

Daffodil

Welcome d-sis-22

I can't help with rehabs in NJ but I do want to welcome you and let you know I too have a brother and a sister who need help...
You have come to the right place for help and support for you.

SOON there will be others who will anwser your thread who can help you more until then look around..read the Power Posts at the beginning of this forum.

Please consider yourself hugged and keep coming back.

Love and prayers from one who cares.

notthistime

At first I had an issue with the HP. I am not a religious person and had great difficulty placing my trust in HP. I mentioned it at a meeting, and this is what they told me...

HP is what you want it to be. You can name it anything you like, and it can be anything you want it to be. Apparently one lady had named her HP "Harry". This made it much easier for me to understand.

Thank you Victoria for posting the serenity prayer. It is so fitting.

addict's sis

DSIS-

My brother has been an alcoholic/drug addict for about 8 years now, too. I understand what you mean when you say you feel obligated. I called and made a long list of rehabs for my brother. Look in the front of your phone book for Alcohol and Drug Abuse Commission or Hotlines. There should be a number. If you call and tell them what you need, they will more than likely at least give you the right phone number. Also, do a search online for your state. On the state websites, there is usually links to hotlines. Good luck, I hope that this helps a little.
Also, please find an Al-Anon meeting near you. I have started going, and it really does help you feel more at peace. It is still an uphill climb, but it does take some of the edge off. I understand that helping him makes you feel a little better, because I did the same thing. But while you are finding info for him, please look up some for you too. It will help you more than you think.