is possession really 9/10 of the law? are both your names on the deed or just one? by the sounds of it he is going through your assests pretty quick even with you being there so i don't know that i would let that be a factor. at this point i would be talking to an attorney and doing whatever i could to protect my assests. it could be you could protect them better by divorcing.
seek and find your own happiness and serenity -that is all i can really say.