Is he considered disabled? Could it be the Cancer made him just throw the towel in? It sounds as if he is a very sick man..He should be in counseling as he sounds as if he has severe depression,He is using the Alcohol to mask his pain and to save him from dealing with mortality. (which he certainly must think about often) You must be feeling very low yourself dealing with all this on a daily basis.I hope someone who lives with another who is disabled will be able to help you here.