The crazy thing is ..... I can't stay away. I don't know why this is, but when I am around him, I can't wait to leave, but when I haven't heard from him I have the need to see him.
Sounds like you feel toward him the way he feels toward his drugs....
The program I attend, Alanon, has helped me understand WHY I behave in relationships the way I do. I didn't have just ONE bad relationship, I had several. The common denominator.... was me.
I hope you can find some meetings and give them a try. They helped me very much.