My life is not all roses. My mom is an alcoholic. I've seen things "JUST" as bad as you mothers have, and I have been "JUST" as scared as you have been, for my own safety at times when I was young and now for her safety at times. I also watched her Dad die from alcoholism. So I'm not naive to how horrible it is for you to have to watch or go through what you do. I see them continue to make bad decisions, but I have never thought of them as being stupid people. But that is just me.
I like what DOne states here. I agree with her. my children are young but Ive been through so much pain watching my husband and father self destruct. Neither at all are stupid, both are extremely bright on IQ tests. My father started off at 14 self medicating because depression and suicidal tenedencies were so unknown then. My husnband started at 15. Why, he had Never thought about drugs, his brother had just dies beside him and he was so overcome with grief and noone was able to see where he was hurting so as he stumbled away from the funeral a man said Hey I can help you feel better. At that point all he could think of was not feeling what he was feeling. A year later when his daughter was born blue, he felt the same way he only knew one way to cope, and sadly he still only knows one way to cope with sadness, anger and anxiety