frankieb, I agree that my feelings are totally selfish. Most of the time I am okay with my feelings, but I have my days of those agonizing feelings. Where I just want something to happen even if it is bad. So yes, I do believe that it is my selfishness, but I so badly want my daughter to have a good life and I firmly believe that it won't be of my making. I am impatient. A character fault that I am trying to work on. Thanks, Marle