(((Carl))) I do hear ya... life is not fair, it is not easy and yours has been tougher than most.
What I found was that I spent a lot of my 20's blaming my mom and dad for not parenting me well. What I know today is that they did the best they knew how... AND that the "standard" I was comparing them against was unrealistic...
Things like Leave it to Beaver and My Three Sons ... the equivalent of the Cosby's or Full House or something else that is totally not real.
Once I STOPPED having that anger, my life got better. And I don't even know how hard that must have been on my mom.
I separate the addiction from the person. My mom did some awful things, but it was her alcoholism that did those things. She, on some level, always loved me.
Blackrose does not deserve to be treated badly... by the same token, I know she loves her son - even if she can't be around him today.
I wish the world were just "black and white" ... "good and bad". But it isn't. It is filled with shades of gray... and on the good days, color, too.
(((Blackrose))) (((Carl)))