yep i did read it kj and thats about right, i guess you can say that im mournong something. i guess since you said it about the talking family and when its your turn, all of a sudden they got to go. well, maybe that has a lot to do with things too. i have this friend and cousin who i've been trying to detach from a litte in the last 3 or 5 days or so. they are just like that only they are the most depressed people you ever want to meet. don't ever want to do anything to help their depression but cry and complain EVERYDAY. sometimes its not healthy for me to listen to negativity all the time, the feelings that i have now could have been agrivated by the negative and depressed vibe sent out by me just listening to all of this stuff that my friend and cousin have to cry about. i mean, i'm not a phycologist and i think they literally need to see one, but if i mention that then i have the bigest arguement because in their mind, i think i'm better than them and is calling them crazy. then i have to spend 4hrs tring to defend my meaning and its just so tiring. i've been avoiding those calls cause i'm just not able to listen to all of that all the time and it not effect my own mood. do this make sense