teke

GOSH that was quick, all i did was turn my back for that min. ok, where is cinder or anvil. don't do links yet. or do we have to do the links

sharing your thoughts or just to talk it out. all welcome

teke

i don't know how to post links, if you don't then maybe cinder or anvil will when they come back. never thought this would go on this long but it fun and it so helpful at time. we do get serious recovery from time to time.

so you think that my phone call was manipulation, i wished i had handled it differently though. maybe next time if there be a next time.

Jewelz

I'm tired and feeling frustrated.. really actually feeling more overwhelmed. I dont know why nothing happened within the last twenty minutes. But I feel like I cant think right now or even read anything.

teke

ok anvil, you were suppose to post all the links since you've taken cinder job, hereLOL i would learn to do it myself if i knew that noone was gonna enable me.LOL please, only if you want to.

teke

let me clarify, i don't think my phone call was manipulative, i was mad!! i was talking about him having his son to call me, like i told his mom that he should leave us alone if he don't want to step up to the plate with these kids. i meant that and i didn't feel like i was being manipulating. my motives are that i don't want to hear from him if he don't plan on doing right by me and the kids. what i mean by that is that if he wants to do right by me, go ahead and get a divorce, so he don't have to commit adultery, and take care of your kids.

just clarifing, i'm ok again, and is just as calm as a cucumber.

ok jewelz sorry that you feel this way, maybe you could settle down and just be, for a minute. i have moments like that and they do pass. just breath and if there is something bothering you, it'll come to you

finallyout

hey everyone, I've been having a crazy busy day. Unfortunately though its the fact that this a dead end low paying job thats got me depressed. As a 30yr old mother of 4, I should not be scrounging change for gas or living in my parents house. no decent jobs in this area at least for what my experience is in. don't have any savings to move anywhere, can't even seem to save a few bucks out of paychecks cuz their so pathetic. what to do, what to do. just need to figure a way out of this mess.

teke

whew!!!! anvil, i was busting my brains trying to figure out how to do what you said to do. i just don't catch on that quick, thanks

now back to busness as usual

Jewelz

I dont know what it is I was okay one moment. I received an email from a director of a sleep away camp that I am trying to get my daughter into. It's free for low income new yorkers if I do everything fast I will make it salary wise before the raise comes through. But that was all that I did.. I am barely even working now and I feel is the need to run out of here. I just dont get it.. why am I feeling this way.

finallyout

thanks I know you're all right, its just sooo frustrating! sometimes it seems like baby steps just take to damn long! Gonna fix up my resume when I get home and apply for some jobs, my dilemma is that I really want to move my kids out of this area (the violence is ridiculous!) but even if I found a better job somewhere I don't have the money to move and who knows if it would be enough for us to rent a place especially with the cost of daycare. I know, slow down, baby steps. My mind is just spinning. Wish I could finish my degree in a 3 months instead of 24!!

finallyout

getting ready to go home for the day too, sorry haven't said too much the last couple of days, just busy and very overwhelmed. just reading what you all have to stay helps so much, getting someone else's perspective can be very eye opening! see you all tommorrow! have a good nigh.
jenna

Mertzie

Blues..
I would recommend that you take a picture of your hands sometime over the next two years. Then, when you reach the great abyss known as the 40s, you can look at the picture with fond memories... "awww look, those used to be my hands!!"

kj0975

I guess I was wrong the threads do go on without me....... sigh........ hang on wiping the tears...... ok better now. So I have spent alot of time catching up here. Wow bz people.

Jewelz I hope your feeling better.

Anvil I want your home.

Teke seems u have been doing pretty good.

Cinder love to hear your still strong and enjoying a drama free life for now. Did any drama start since the power being off?

Blues I loved the shopping therapy u crack me up!!!

Palm you are fiesty today lol

concernedsis nice to see u as usual.

Hmm. Well guess what tomorrow I hope your all sitting guess what I HAVE A DAY OFF!!! Hard to imagine. I am so glad I dont really enjoy working days all the boses are there and they nit pick u for everything. Then the big boss sits in her office with the shade up and just watches all of us. No talking no eating no nothing!!!! ARGH. Such a difference in between shifts. I even managed to get reported for smoking on a sidewalk off campus walking during my lunch WTF is that all about. I guess they think they OWN the whole city of rochester. I know we arent allowed to smoke on the property but come on walking down a sidewalk in a residential area please get over yourself. Well thats my complaining of the day. Going out for mexican tonight YUMMY!

teke

ok yall, my ah just called back to tell me all i was doing wrong before he left, i guess i disrespected him by telling him that i refuse to except the blame for his leaving. he said that i ranted and raved everyday and that he was tring to do right by me and the kids. i told him yes i ranted and raved every day but before i got the chance to get through whatever caused me to rant and rave, he would bring me more junk to rant and rave about, so i'm fine now and that i understand him living in a motel. he call himself hanging up on me when i told him that he was the adult and it was his responsibility to contact the kids and not them trying to keep up with him. well thats ok, only i wanted to hang up on him first, and i didn't do it fast enough..

kj0975

Next time teke. I get so mad when I dont get to hang up first. I would just call back and as soon as he says hello hang up! Then again I think like a 5 yr old too

teke

yeap, anvil, its all my fault, and i'm disrespecting him, never mind him staying out all night, righting his mess in his journal, or bingeing with all the money, countless jails and rehabs and relapses. yeap, all my fault and i'm so disrespectful

kj0975

It always our faults I wonder why that is. Is it because we are female and we are the ones who bring the babies into the world and from that day forward everything is a females fault. Now I wonder who's fault it is that they grew up to be such jerks I suppose ours too even though we had nothing to do with it. Oh well. Now I wish I would get credit for all the great things they do or the great things that we helped them to do but oh NO that cant be our faults now can it. When its good things it was all their doing and when its bad things its all our fault! U know what they can do dont ya???? Use your imagination.

teke

don't know if you want me to you MY imagination, that might not go to well for somebody, me, i'll be ok so it ain't me

cinderellawkids

Hi everyone!!!
Just reading through all I missed.
How could you start a new one without me, and my limk posting job was stolen, I am soooo hurt.
Gotta start my rice boiling and Ill eb abck with my comments and thoughts for the day

teke

sorry cindi, anvil and i tried to wait but i guess you were having so much fun you forgot all about us. not my fault though

cinderellawkids

Ok the rice got voted out making whole wheat noodle, beef stew and english muffins.

Havent heard from Mr. Nightmare on Elmstreet, nor has his mom. Not yet anyway.
Guess its too much to hope that his pride will keep him away. How come he only has pride when it comes to what others know and him not being a crack addict?

My boss was in good spirits too considering we are trying a case guaranteed to lose enxt week, but its not our choice, all we can do is provide the best defense. When he was rampant I kept walking with a smile. SOmeone asked me what I was on, I laughed and said If I dont smile Im scared Ill cry.
Our internet was down. Real pain ina busy law office wherein we were looking for last minute cardiology experts and needed deposition transcripts emailed, but I made it through that as well. Had no streamlined music but Jeff burned me cds of this group I recently started listening too that shrimp man exposed me too (through IM) (30 secconds to Mars)
Anyway got last minute trial subpoenas out talked to some experts reviewed accident reconstruction simulations, was basically too busy to think. A good thing today. Early in the day I said I dont need medication I need dark chocolate and Vitamin water, and waalaa it appeared on my desk from another friendly attorney.

Anvil your mood may not just be from what you ate last night, but what did you eat yeasterday for lunch, and snack, if one of those was very high in carbs, it could create a crash feeling, but it also could be hormones