Teke I think the mourning is to me personally is just letting go of the relationship. Meaning I'm mourning the loss of my loved one. Not that he is dead but the person I once loved and knew is gone. Its like saying the final goodbye. Its hard its difficult. Maybe u just wish he was thinking of u and calling u and thinking about the kids and maybe your just sad and hurt that he hasnt or isnt doing that right now. Maybe he doesnt know how either. Everyone has always picked him up now is his time to figure it out. If he wants to use he will if he wants to change and become a good father he will.
Its hard u have had a love hate relationship with him. U have been with him for 21yrs its not that easy to let go and move on. U have been to hell and back with him I understand your hurt. If the past is sometimes the future than u know he will call u know he will crawl back and u know what u have to do. Its time to live for TEKE and make TEKE happy and do what TEKE wants damn u deserve it girl.