More rambling.....
Yes, I didn't pick an alcoholic. I picked someone who acted out the cycles I was used to, a controller who I swore I wouldn't listen to but actually obeyed. He happened to have a drinking problem. And I happened to fit into what he needed for the cycle of his alcoholism too.
Sorry.....lightbulbs here.
Thanks for reading, but I think my posting this is also good even if no one does because it's part of my 'online journal' of my journey.