Chero... Please keep yourself safe!! I had an incident with AH several years ago, and while I was afraid he was going to kill me, I was more afraid that if I called the cops he would get locked up and he would never forgive me. I agree that you need to try and keep busy. It's so hard not to worry how he is. Even though you feel you are imposing by staying with someone, maybe it's better than being alone. Slow down and foucus on one thing at a time. You are one brave lady!!!!