happy birthday, ashley, i used to think the same thing about the big break and then its over, don't for the life of me know where that thought disappeared to, i'm 53 too and still going through the same thing, thanks for reminding me. it really don't get any better, you look up one day and realize that you are 20 yrs older.
go ahead, enjoy yourself while you're young, you'll find someone else to love and who will love you back, you deserve all you the happiness that your little heart can take. have fun. real friends are always there.