hey all, i guess its becoming routine for me to check in too. seems like i'm sleeping a little better these last few days, don't know what it is, it may be that i've change pillows that i sleep on, though i've slept on the pillow before, or it could be that i don't have to sleep with the tv on, or that i don't have to hear snoring all night, or that i'm not being awaken every morning at 4 in the morning and it could be that i changed the side of the bed that i sleep on. everything is different, i sleep in one spot, i can't stand for my bed to be all messed up while sleeping. maybe i just like sleeping alone.
lanie
, sorry that you are feeling this way, i've felt that way too, sometime those kind of friends just don't understand addiction and is not in touch with or understand codependancy either. even though i have codie issues, i still think that i'm farther along in growth than a lot of my friends who have never been introducted to a program and don't have a clue how to work through their own inner issues. i think some of these same friends walk around day in and day out masking their pains of the past not realizing that they are their affecting their emotions. even though you don't do what they think you should don't mean that they have all the right answers, only you know whats good for you and what you need to do to make your life better, i think that though we have gone through so much, we are all being made better persons for it. i think its time for us to hold our heads up high, we all have come so far. i think that if god hadn't thought that you couldn't get through all of what you've been through and merge the victor, he wouldn't have allow you to go through it. i believe that he has a perfect plan for all of our lives and knows exactly how to get us there,sometimes we have to go through rough spots in the road inorder to get us to the place of his perfect plan.
sometimes we hold on because we think that we know what is best for our lives but when we let go and let god, he'll lead us to that perfect place. it don't always look good to us or for us, but he knows what he's doing, and if we allow him to have his way, one day we'll be able to look back over our past and recognize the hows and the whys of what we had to go through to get where we are. does any of this make any sense to anyone.
cinder, i sure hope you have internet at work, that just won't be right or fair. i'm glad you're feeling so positive these days, it sure shows in your post, and i'm sure you're glowing, you sound like it and i'm glad to hear that others are noticing. i guess recovery really works, huh?
blues,
i'm so sorry that you have to keep changing your idenity, maybe your addict is getting a little worried, trying to see why you are changing so much, trying to see just what these people is telling you and what you are telling them. my ah went through that stage too, i decided that i was not gonna change my idenity. just because he was the topic of my conversation, it still was all about me and my thoughts and feelings, that it had nothing to do with him. i agree with him a little and told him that since he thinks that its my fault and that i'm causing the problems, that i was trying to figure out what i'm doing wrong and how to stop it, because i want a healty relationship and i don't want to be the one causing the confusion.
i told him that if my thoughts were unhealthy, then i wanted to know about it. i did have to remind him that my feelings and thoughts were just my feelings thoughts and what i felt didn't have to be the truth, that i was trying to get heathy and if what i thought was unhealthy, that i wanted to get help understanding why i thought and felt the way that i did.
oh he snooped a little longer and even signed on to sr and posted a time or two, but he soon got uninterested when he didn't get the responses that he wanted to hear, and lost interest. so i made it through that, he still accused sr, for my selfishness and cold heart, but that was ok, i'm still learning and i think growing if only but a little. do this make any sense
where's anvil this morning