I m not collecting numbers. I am trying to survive this crap.
That's the truth.
You know what I'm reminded of, for some reason? Chris Rock's riff on "n*****s always want credit for some s**t they're supposed to do."
Us alcoholics are like that - until we get it right. We want someone - the world, our parents, whatever - to give us credit for ten days, two months, three years sober. All we're doing is taking responsibility for ourselves, for pity's sake. We grow up, and take responsibility for ourselves.
You know I'm not having a go Chinyita. You know of course that all of us here tried and failed repeatedly, so we've all been where you are now. And I think that all of us who got out of the mire, however we did it, have one thing in common. We took personal responsibility for our condition. We stopped counting, and just accepted - "this is the way it is, from now on. I drink, I suffer. So today, I don't pick up that first drink". And for people like me, that meant reaching a crisis where I was forced to surrender to the fact - I can't drink and expect it to be ok. It never will be.