I think you need to think about your ex as the world sees him. I think this will out his opinions in perspective. You say how he treated you and how he spoke to you. How did he treat other people? The only people who could stand my ex where his drinking buddies. They were drunken morons. Their fun was always at someone elses expense. They weren't even nice to each other. They thought they were clever and witty. They weren't, they were obnoxious and rude.
What's the last nice thing you ever heard him say to anyone? What's the last thing you ever saw him give away?
Alcoholics can be very cruel, well they are as cruel as they need to be. I think that's why it gets worse, we become desensatized and so it takes more to hurt us.
I used to start every sentence with "I'm sorry". I stopped doing that because I hate that. I was practically apologizing for breathing air.
If you were so hopeless, this new guy wouldn't have asked you out. How come this new guy doesn't think you are so worthless? You don't need to be attractive to every man on the planet and only the jerks would hoot at you when you pass anyway. Many many men may think you are a very attractive. I think this is a process and in time with exposure to healthy thinking, you will have a better perspective on who you are and the type of man he was to run you into the ground. I think as you get stronger you will not validate a man like that, you will invalidate him. The love and respect of one good man is worth more than a truck load of hoots and one night stands.