teke

well jewelz, for me, i think that i'm getting practice with not allowing myself to feel inadequate with my responses. most of the time that i post, i do it in fear, not knowing if what i'm posting sounds off the wall or what? i want to help someone else so badly to feel better to i find myself try really hard to get past my insecurities and the fact that i do a lot of second guessing myself. half the time, i feel like you guys see me as just teke, and its become alright for me.

when i first thought about my thoughts, i thought that it would help me on a day to day, cause usually i didn't have any one to talk to and i didn't want to hog the board with all of my thoughts that may or maynot make much sense or call for a response. it helped me not to have to talk to myself so much, at least this way, every now and again, i get to feel like i'm carrying on a conversation with adults. i've spent so much time these last few yrs with noone to talk to but kids, kids and more kids.

and at one time, i had my ah sneaking to read my post and i kind of felt like i didn't think that he would take the time to read through all of these pages, just to see what i had to say, and if he did at first, it didn't take him long before he lost interest.

i'm learning here, how not to be so afraid of posting on normal post, this is sort of abnormal to me. keep thinking i'm gonna get in trouble for some reason. maybe i'm so use to getting in trouble for whatever reason my ah chose for the day.