drainedwife

i think that my ah thinks he can stop..and maybe he can..but there is not enough reason too for him i guess.....hes using because he wants to use...but i dont want that in my house and in my marriage..he knows that yet he continues...why?
i believe he is being honest when he says he thinks that a warm, loving home will help him to stop using.....but will it? maybe it will help, but if someting goes wrong, will he just use again?? also, why do other people NOT turn to drugs...illegal drugs no less.....when they are depressed? Why does he??? Why doesnt he know better ways to cope???? like NORMAL people? If i felt so low that i wanted to die...i still wold not turn to drugs....i look at my kids and would never ever put them through the hell that drugs brings... my ah is not ready to do whatever it takes to stop using....and i dont think he ever will..he doesnt even like going to a therapist because he thinks by going, it will make him feel bad...well sometimes in life you have to really look at yourself....look at yourself in the mirror, and yes, you may feel bad...but thats sometimes what it takes to get to the place you want to be......

if anyone has any advice as to how i can get strong..get to the place where i am willing to fight for the life that i want and deserve.. a drug free happy life....
i know how hard it is not to worry about my husband and where that woul dleave him if i were to decide that i have to leave him....and i dont know how just yet to do that without looking back and feeling horrible..... he is a good provider, and can be a good person....but i guess what it takes is loving myself enough ...