Hello LunaGreen,
Your husband sure sounds like an addict to me....he needs help.
The baffling thing about addiction is that it is the DisEase of denial.
LunaGreen, if I were you, I'd get to Alanon as fast as I can. That is how you will find a way to live a reasonably happy and free life........
Challenge yourself to 90 meetings in 90 days.
Go for it, you're worth it.