Thanks Satit !
It is so drilled in my head to make moves to benefit me and not base my actions on what I think his reaction will be . (I must be learning something here! wink!)
It comes very naturally now to think of myself and the kids and hes very agreeable to every boundary I have set .
He hugged me goodbye and whispered in my ear that he was so sorry for doing this to our family and he was crying . I was able to hug him back and tell him I was proud of him and to hang in there , then I left . Normally I would of buckled, cried and probably begged him to come home ! I didnt even feel guilty , I felt good , content .