You love him so I think the feelings are normal.
Just try hard not to get wrapped up in them.
I kicked my AH out almost 4 weeks ago. He has no job, no money and his power is being shut off this week sometime. He too had a week ago already lost a lot of weight, mainly because on clean days theres no food money. Im expecting to see the worse when I see him, but remmeber both our husbands need to show change before it really shows any promise of better things to common. Sadly so many go to rehab because its the only place for a free meal.
Hang in there and we are all here if you need to talk