Hi Dixied
I know exactly what you're talking about.
My AD is in college during the week and home on weekends. I'm never sure if she will appreciate me calling when she's back at school or not. Sometimes I would like to call but feel that she would think I'm checking up on her, other times I just call with some stupid excuse or other just to talk. Sometimes she will call me, maybe with a question or just to talk.
I don't ask about recovery, mostly I try to stay out of her stuff. If she offers some information I appreciate it and try to keep my big mouth shut about what she should do or not do. Unless she asks for an opinion and then I try to make her list any options she could have and see if I can make her decide for herself.
There's a fine line between caring and nosiness.........and having an adult child who's married makes it even harder.