In my humble opinion I don't think you r in love with this guy. I think that you love him like a dear friend with your head & with your head you know he would be a great husband & everything your head is telling you is right but with your heart you r not in love with him. You also know your mom would love for you to get serious with this terrific guy so there again with your head you think you should be with him but that is not the same as being in love with him..
As far as I can see this also has a touch of the dog in the manger. The dog is asleep on the hay. You are like the dog & he is like the hay. The other woman is like the cow, she needs the hay & you the dog do not but you do not want her to have it. I hope I did not mess this up & you understand what I mean. Now I am not you & know very little of the details. If this does not ring true please ignore all I said.
Hoping my opinion has helped you,
Love,
Diane