First love never dies?

Old 04-26-2007, 11:49 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Let me grow up.
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Location: Lake Charles, LA
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So, Midas, if you don't mind me asking. . .when you meet a new woman (and you will, hun) will your first love always have a reserved place in your heart? I mean would you feel like you had some way settled for some one else because you couldn't be with who you truly wanted to be with? Do you think that somewhere down the road you could have a objective friendship with your first love?

I know in my case I would like to have a "real" friendship with my ex-boyfriend but I'm afraid he fears he wouldn't be able to be objective about it though he's seeing someone new; I think that out of respect for her he'd rather not risk being friends with me. . .
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Old 04-26-2007, 12:08 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I had a dream about my first love not all that long after Mr. Big and I reconciled and while we were trying to figure out if our relationship COULD heal and where it was headed... it was one of those dreams that feel "real".

My first love had his old car - a '74 Dodge Charger, competition yellow, 440 magnum... damn, I don't even know what that MEANS! - but we sat in that car and said everything we ever wanted to say to one another, how deep was our love for one another, how much we missed each other ... and the fact we were both commited to another person. Though I remember the dream and the ideas that were exchanged ... I cannot remember one word of the conversation.

The next morning when I woke up - I KNEW we wouldn't meet again. It felt solid, that knowledge. He was finally out of my life forever, and I was free to figure out where to go with Mr. Big.

Sometimes, I read about astral travel and time/space all coexisting at once and the ability to move on a level we cannot see... and I sort of wonder what that dream was about.

Then my pragmatic side pops up and says, "it's nothing but your mind trying to reconcile your emotions with reality".

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Old 04-26-2007, 12:12 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by newblue82
when you meet a new woman (and you will, hun) will your first love always have a reserved place in your heart?
Yes, I think my first love will always have a special little nook over there in the corner somewhere out of sight. I remember my very first girlfriend too. That's a little different, but she has a special place too. I haven't written a poem for Andrea (Na'ariel, my First Love) in a long time...

Holding Onto Letting Go

When you came into my life,
I had little to hold on to.
My days were filled with strife,
And my nights were lonely too.

Letting you go is harder than holding on.

You gave me a new hope,
But I had little to let go of,
Aside from the end of my rope.
In despair, I closed my eyes and looked above.

I'm holding on to the idea of letting you go.

Copyright 2007 Barry L Harper

Can I be objective about a promising relationship? Of course. I try not to compare it with what came before, but it's really difficult. Can I have a Platonic relationship with my first love? Impossible. She's written me off.

Nahara Ariel,
my hand maiden, my angel,
chosen by Gawd of Israel,
Keriah Berith Keraiah,
Selah, Selah.

Midas 2007
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Old 04-26-2007, 01:30 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Let me grow up.
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Yea, that sucks. I think I've been written of too despite my attempts to make amends. I've tried to make him understand that at least on my part my intentions are pure. . .I mean hell I'm a lesbian for cryin' out loud! LOL

There's no underlying motive to my wanting to be friends. But I also know that it just may be too late. It's my fault that he's totally detached himself from me but I also know that I've made amends with myself and have asked God to forgive me my past behavior and for hurting him.

I'm comforted with knowing that and with knowing the future holds a brighter tomorrow.
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Old 04-26-2007, 02:19 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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If you have stated an apology to him, and you've set things straight with yourself and your Higher Power (or G*d), that's all that matters. What HE decides to do with your apology is entirely up to him.
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Old 04-26-2007, 02:21 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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In my humble opinion I don't think you r in love with this guy. I think that you love him like a dear friend with your head & with your head you know he would be a great husband & everything your head is telling you is right but with your heart you r not in love with him. You also know your mom would love for you to get serious with this terrific guy so there again with your head you think you should be with him but that is not the same as being in love with him..
As far as I can see this also has a touch of the dog in the manger. The dog is asleep on the hay. You are like the dog & he is like the hay. The other woman is like the cow, she needs the hay & you the dog do not but you do not want her to have it. I hope I did not mess this up & you understand what I mean. Now I am not you & know very little of the details. If this does not ring true please ignore all I said.
Hoping my opinion has helped you,
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