(((Sharon))) I remember someone ... an active addict husband of another Alanon... told me once that I focused on MY addicts because it was too painful to focus on my OWN stuff.
He said it meaner than that.... and boy, did it light me up! I was so mad at him... the big turd.
But 2 years later, I can see with more clarity that in some ways... he was right.
If you can, I hope you can find some meetings ... Alanon, Naranon or CODA... to help you focus not only on your problems, but also on your attributes...which are many.
(((Sharon)))