I guess I know that the logical choice for me would be to marry him. I mean look at what all he has going for him making $70,000/yr at the age of 23 with just a B.A in electrical engineering (still planning to pursue he's M.A), attractive, ambitious, owns his own car and own place living in Pasadena, California. He did treat me well (and still does) to the extent that he doesn't want to get too close. It'd be a helluva an improvement from the situation I left! And yet despite how perfect all this is, I'm hesitant. Am I crazy?!
No, you're not crazy but I don't think you're thinking too straight either.
Money, career and car does not a person make. You haven't seen him for a long time, he is happy with somebody else and you think because your mother says something that this man should marry you?
Sweetie, life isn't like that. Perhaps we each hold a special place in our hearts for our first love, I know I do, but that doesn't mean anything more than that our first love was important and worth cherishing as a treasured memory...and nothing more.
My thoughts are that the more time you spend working on yourself and your own values and self-esteem and confidence, the better prepared you will be to recognize a healthy relationship and will find one.
Hugs