Having had a "sleep" on Tazman's post, I've had another thought.
Yes, this post is focussed on the alcoholic which is something that I always urge people not to do as I know that the drinker's problem really isn't the root of OUR problem. However, because I was brought up to be other-focussed and to make things better by fixing other peoples problems, a vital part of my recovery comprised of focussing on the REALITY of his situation and behaviour in order for me to then detach and concentrate on myself. I had to pay even more attention to him, however it was crucial that I removed the rose tinted glasses. I could make no more excuses for him once I understood that he was just doing what he had always done (and is still doing) and it was my reactions to that which were causing me so many problems. And my reactions to him were simply the same reactions that I had displayed with others, although more magnified because HIS problems were on a larger scale than I had previously experienced.
I urge everyone to bear this thread in mind when welcoming newcomers - the sooner we all get the messages so eloquently presented by Taz, the sooner we can concentrate on our own stuff.