Once I actually got that nothing I said when he was drunk/ranting etc. made one bit of difference then I kinda understood detaching and could totally get the logic behind it, so then it became alot easier to put into practise.
I too am really stubborn, am quite opinionated and have belief in the things I say and think, so it becomes quite difficult sometimes to just ignore their rants and not respond...but then I know if I get "into it" with him that I'm gonna be sat there for hours, nothing I say will make any differece to what he's ranting about, he won't remember anything I've said tomorrow, he'll purposely disagree with anything I say even if it does make sense, and even if he does agree with me....he'll just disagree to be argumentative...What's the point?!
Sometimes I forget myself and I do get into "it" with him...I always regret it and everytime I do "lapse" it makes it easier not to the next time..
Ways I get out of it are....
Just completely ignore him like he wasn't there
Nod alot
Reply "Yes dear"
Put my ipod on (loud!)
Leave the room
Go to bed
Go on SR (with the ipod on)
Go and do the dishes or housework in another room
Luckily he isn't the type to follow me around the house, so getting out of it is quite easy.