Compulsions to open one's mouth in response to the alcoholic's never ending irrational, bizarre, frustrating behavior is as normal as breathing. Of course in time we realize we are wasting our precious breath as we could have a more intelligent conversation with the living room couch. All we receive in return is denial, anger, blame and hostility ... and nothing we ever say seems to change or alter their choices. About all we can do is accept the fact we are not communicating with a sane, rational person ... but instead an addiction that doesn't want to hear what we have to say .. and for some strange reason does not think our clever retorts are funny! This was so hard for me to accept .. but eventually I just learned to tune it out and try my best to focus on the my ever growing list of responsibilities .. and in vain would secretly hope that someday the person I married would see the light and eventually return.