We all know we shouldn't argue with the A, tell the A how to get sober, keep saying "you've been drinking again!", criticize them etc... because it's all useless and even makes us feel guilty afterwards. Let's talk about your ways to resist the urge to do all the above
For me:
1. Go grab my recovery books and read, read, read (i labeled a couple of pages for emergency use)
2. Imagine how my AH will react and defend himself if I say what i want to say. After playing the scene in my head, i already know that it'll end up nothing constructive
3. If it's my AH who starts it, i respond with OKs, oh really's, maybe you're right... then make excuses to leave the conversation
4. Pretend that i'm an actress and my part is not to talk
5. Ask myself why i want to say what i want to say.
Yesterday my AH had a hanger and said to me "Wierd! i have a headache all morning".... i almost burst out saying "Sure! that's because you drank last night". then i thought i should say something more clever, like "oh! maybe you ate or drank something wrong?" And then i thought to myself, why say anything at all! i was so sure i wouldn't be happy with his answer. So i said nothing and felt kinda proud of myself afterwards. haha!
i do experience quite often these "compulsions" to open my mouth. Would like to know how you all deal with them.