i am bad
It's finally time for the drinking to stop.
A recap of last night: I went out to the bars with a couple of friends. Drank numerous beers along with a couple of shots. Got tremendously wasted. Somehow, I started talking to two guys (who I'm pretty sure were of age since they were in the bar and were in HS 4 years ago) who used to be students at the HS where I used to teach. I had a completely inappropriate conversation with them, including swearing, gossiping about another teacher, and admitting that I thought one of their classmates was cute (not that I ever would have acted). I shudder to think about the things I said. Thankfully, I no longer teach there, so when they tell their friends about how they drank with me, it won't be as bad. I am scared the principal will find out, though, because he is one of my references (he wrote me an awesome letter of recommendation). Oh, I also ended up going to a frat house with these guys and ended up leaving without saying a word when it hit me how ridiculous the whole situation was. Then I got lost and peed in a parking lot. Horrible. Horrible. I feel like the worst teacher and human being in the world today.
There have been plenty of other times when I drank to excess and made a fool out of myself. I am 27 years old and have been binge drinking at least once a week since I was 20. I don't know if this makes me an alcoholic or not, but I want to stop before I have children or something really bad happens.
I have a very supportive fiance (although he's heard the "quitting speech" before) and family. My mother has said that she thinks I shouldn't drink because I do it to excess, make bad choices, and then feel bad about myself.
So, here I am. I am looking forward to hearing some of your stories and hoping for support.