OneEye,
I'm a firm believer in our HP having us right where we need to be today. We all come into our recovery in the right time. We all get it when we get it. And I know that can sound so trite, but I do believe it's true. I know, for me, the realization of certain things has come just at the right time. If they had been thrown at me earlier, Lordy have mercy, the would have gone right over my head.
So pat yourself on the back for seeing what you see today. And like Big Sis said, break that job of the application down into smaller parts to get it done.
I think you're doing just fine and smart, smart, smart to realize it's about you and your recovery. I still have to remind myself of that...ALL THE TIME!
Hugs,
Hangin' In