I agree with Anvil. If you don't want the chaos then maybe it is time to leave him to his own devices. My daughter is the same age as your son but she is with a 37 year old. She does not ask me for anything. She does not cry on my shoulder except for a few rare times. So lately I have begun to believe that addict or no, she has the right to live whatever life she wants. I have the right to disagree with her life and keep myself out of it and my mouth shut. My boundaries are no financial help and no living at home and I will not take late night calls complaining about the abf. So far she is living following those boundaries and she is an adult. So time for mommy to let go. Hugs, Marle