I have been exactly where you are. A week ago I asked my ABF to leave. First of all, I had to stop feeling ashamed of not being able to leave before I could do actually leave him.The Getting Them Sober books by Toby Rice Drews helped me do that. It is okay if you are not ready. (THe books are NOT about getting them sober, they are for the people who live with the addict.) My sister's drug counselor gave it to me. Do NOT feel ashamed of not being ready yet. It is ok. You are in my prayers.