Sunhsinegirl-
I, too, have attempted to dish out advice on safe ways to detox, shelling out the inspiration like I was a regular preacher.
I STILL have trouble catching myself when I am about to open up my mouth and let loose a looonnng series "shoulds" and advice that makes ME feel better, but in reality does nothing for him.
I think it is deeply excruciating for us to actually begin to UNDERSTAND that US wanting them to recover is so not enough. In fact it is almost a waste of energy and effort to try to "make them see" how much better life can be in recovery.
I too get caught up in the perceived "need." The whole "he has no one else" bit- shuddering at the idea of turning loose a man who may very well wander farther down the hole of addiction. It sounds as though you are holding tight and trying to force him to want recovery. Even when we UNDERSTAND that we can't do it- sometimes we still don't get the concept that all of our efforts are meaningless unless their heart is in it.
I feel your pain and my thoughts are with you.